Short-Armed and Dangerous

In the morning hours of May 31, a crazy-assed bandicoot slaughtered a nest of baby rabbits. Eyewitnesses described the suspect as "half a dog high and two dogs long". They also reported that the screaming of the rabbits echoed through the neighborhood and for some reason they felt a longing for fava beans and a nice chianti. It was reported that the suspect was eagerly wagging a tail during the killing spree. Rescuers rushed to the scene, but by then it was too late for at least one baby bunny. The suspect was "jailed" and not given any cookies. Until his trial at the Hague, he is incarcerated in Bloomington. Of note, this maniac was also wanted for a similar incident occurring one year ago involving a baby squirrel.

“What does he do, Clarice? What is the first and principal thing he does, what need does he serve by killing? He covets. How do we begin to covet? We begin by coveting what we see every day.”